Family Myth 1: Peter and Elizabeth Collins

My sister and I are the remaining members of our immediate family.  Usually she remembers what I have forgotten and I do the likewise for her.  Sometimes we remember the same event differently, based upon many different factors–family placement, what impacted one or the other individually or our emotional baggage at the time.  It is valuable to have another viewpoint to flesh out an event.

For all the family history I did not witness on the maternal side of my family, I have over forty years of family letters written by my grandmother and saved by my aunt.  My grandmother lived in Denver and my aunt lived in New York.  Fortunately, they were skilled and avid letter writers, so when my aunt passed away, my mother brought the letters back to Denver and now I have them.  My aunt  and my mother were intrigued by our family’s genealogy and they encouraged my curiosity.  I have inherited their work and I am building on it, with a firm  resolve to complete the family tree as best I can, as well as write a family history to go with it.  So, let me begin with this story.

Mary Egan Horne Rockfield in a studio pose 1890s

Mary Egan Horne Rockfield

My maternal grandmother was a great storyteller.  My sister and I would sit down on either side of her begging,  “Tell us a story, Grandma!”  Sometimes she would share a fairy tale memorized from an old book that I now cherish.  Other times she would launch into a family story.  We were very young children then, so we never thought of writing down the stories or asking pertinent questions when we didn’t understand something.

At times Grandmother’s stories included people we didn’t know, only discovering later on that she was sharing tales of her husband’s raucous childhood.   My grandfather died four years before I was born, so anything I know about him came from his wife (Grandma), my mother (his daughter) and the few letters preserved by my aunt.  Other stories came from my grandmother’s childhood.  They were intriguing as well, giving my sister and me a glimpse of the olden days.

I realized later on in life that my grandmother tended to exaggerate or embellish her stories.  She did it in her letters too,  as well as her oral storytelling.   At times I wish I was more like her!  One of the reasons I don’t write fiction is that I am very grounded in the truth,  even if it is boring compared to a lovely embellished detail.   Great storytellers and stand-up comedians know the value of  shaping a tale into something funny, interesting or tragic—even if it doesn’t exactly match the events as they actually unfolded.

Two years ago I made a discovery that explained where my maternal grandmother may have inherited her bit of the ol’ Irish blarney–her maternal grandmother, Elizabeth Collins.  Peter and Elizabeth Collins were my second great-grandparents.  The emigrated from Ireland before the potato famine and eventually settled in Columbus, Ohio.  My mother and I knew very little about them except their names and the fact  they were the only Catholics in our very Protestant lineage.  In 1950, my Aunt Louise wrote to her mother, requesting information about the family.  Here is the reply she wrote concerning the Collins grandparents.

Edward Pearson Horne & Mary Agnes Collins

Your Grandfather Horne’s people came from Cincinnati, Ohio, and were what you term well-to-do people.  He was born in Philadelphia.  His father died when he was very young and his mother was counting on making a fine, educated lawyer out of him, but he ran away.  He lied about his age and joined the army and when he married a Catholic girl, then she was through with him and it broke her heart.  Also, my Grandfather Collins was wealthy.  He owned a large brick yard and did contracting work.  He built many of the largest homes in Columbus, Ohio.  He died during the awful epidmic of cholera where people dropped by the dozens hourly and he came home for his noon meal, finished eating, went out to sit under a tree in the backyard to rest before returning to his office and was seized with an attack and died before a doctor could arrive.  Their home was a beauty, a 14 room brick house with great white marble mantels in up- and downstairs rooms and great stone steps in front with a high iron picket fence.  It was a show place all on its own.  Grandmother Collins sent her three daughters to a private girl’s school in Cincinnati.  There were none in Columbus good enough for her.

A little over two years ago I was able to visit the genealogical library in Columbus to research the Collins family.  Searching church records, city directories and indexes, I finally found information about Peter Collins.  He had died in 1855, but was buried in the Irish and Polish Catholic cemetery, not the wealthy German Catholic church.  I was directed to a court case involving Elizabeth Collins and her children.  Her husband was not the owner of a brick yard–he worked in one making bricks that went into all the fine houses.   He died destitute.  Bankruptcy proceedings were brought against the Collins family and they were evicted from their home.  It was not on Naughton Street.

Further research revealed that the Edward P. Horne family was living on Naughton Street in the 1880s, in a boarding house managed by Elizabeth Collins.  The house with the marble mantels, great stone steps and iron picket fence had fallen in status and become a multi-family living establishment.  Was my grandmother lying? Was her grandmother lying?  Was my grandmother remembering differently, based on her emotional state of mind or her youth when she heard this story?  The fact that her story and the facts I discovered were so different from each other became the most interesting aspect of this piece of family history.   It explains so much about my grandmother, my aunt and my mother: their firm belief that they were so much better than their circumstances.  The pretensions on the maternal side of my family lasted into my generation, until my sister and I both ran headlong into it as teenagers. Part of our story is the many ways in which we broke free.

Sadly, my second great-grandmother lost her life on the iron picket fence that surrounded the grand old house on Naughton street.  A quail startled the horse she was riding and threw her on to one of those iron pickets.  When she died, my grandmother was eight years old.  What I know of the  circumstances of Mary Agnes Collins Horne’s death are based on a story told to me by my grandmother.

Three Hedgehogs and Other Oddities

I’m promoting my new blog.  It is featuring genealogy and family history.  My tag line is “a creative response to my family roots and genealogy.”   This is true!  I can’t imagine reading lists of family members and dates–how boring for those not interested in genealogy!  But most people love stories.  I think the beginnings of my interest in family stories came from my maternal grandmother.  She loved to tell stories about different people, several of them long gone while others with gray, bent over and faded.  To hear about them licking flag poles in the dead of winter or being chased by bulls in a field was highly entertaining.  So, give my second blog a try!  Here is the link:  http://threehedgehogsandotheroddities.com/.  Best of all, subscribe and you won’t miss a single entry!  Thanks!

An old wedding dress…

Julia with her fancy "up do"

I have been involved in “e-tailing” for almost four years now.   I own and operate three virtual stores.  One of these stores markets antique and vintage items.   While checking out the competition recently, I focused on the category of used wedding gowns.  The ones that sold fetched good prices.

Vintage clothing is not a category in my shop.  I have an “accessories section” for leather gloves from my mother and aunt and some vintage scarves I’ve collected over the years.  I wore scarves wrapped around my head as headbands or ponytail adornments in the 1970s and tied in fancy bows or knots around my neck in the 1980s.   Otherwise, I never keep clothing, except for the lovely satin wedding gown up in our attic.  It has been in the family since 1942.

My mother chose this dress it for her wartime wedding that year, and my sister and I chose it for our weddings in 1968.   However, my niece and daughters did not want to wear it for their 1990, 1999 and 2000 weddings.

My 8-yr old granddaughter, Julia, spent the day at our house this past Monday because her school had a “non-pupil contact day.”  I told her about the dress while I looked through old pictures to use in listing the item.   She looked at wedding pictures of my mother, my sister and me in the dress, and then pictures of her mother and her aunt in their wedding gowns.

She wondered aloud why her mother and her aunt did not want to wear the shiny satin gown with a sweetheart neckline, rucked  (fabric sewn into folds) bodice, long tight sleeves and a cathedral train.   I explained that they wanted different kinds of weddings than the older generations did.   “Oh, I can see that,” as she explained the differences she had noticed between our formal church weddings and  the smaller gatherings in an old historic home for her mother and a city park for her aunt.

After a pause, she wistfully commented that it was nice when things were passed down.  I asked her if she wanted the dress and she softly answered, “Yes.”  I quickly replied, “I will save the dress for you. It is yours.  Do you want to see it?”  Oh yes, she did!   I took her up to the bedroom and flipped opened the window of the “acid free chamber” in the box where the gown has been stored since I had it cleaned and  preserved.  I explained the fabric was called a “blush” satin because it was originally white, but turned a cream color over time.

When I said, “Grandpa will put this right back in storage,” she smiled a big smile, then added,  “I won’t be getting married for a long, long time.”

So, I’m not selling the dress, for all the right reasons!

I’m Remembering A Sunny Christmas

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On this sunny day with no snow on the ground, we still enjoy Christmas.  Everyone thinks Colorado is perpetually covered in snow, but that isn’t true in Denver.  Some years, maybe–but I don’t have nostalgic memories of snowy Christmas days from my childhood.  Yes, I am a Denver native and I grew up here!

The persistent rumor that Denver is like the mountains isn’t true.  We are high, dry and sunny most of the time.  The Christmas days I remember when I was a child include running around outside without a coat, wondering what to do with the sled stored in the garage.

When I was a child, we spent Christmas time driving to different people’s houses to visit, admiring the gifts spread under the tree and eating tasty snacks.  When we were young we enjoyed a big dinner with all the old relatives coming over.  Eventually they didn’t travel, so we went to them on Christmas Eve day.

When I had young children at home, my parents came to our house.  My daughters and stepsons would watch out the window until they arrived, then jump up and fly out the door, crying, “Grandma, Grandpa!”

We unwrapped gifts for hours it seemed, since there were eight people sitting around the family room.  No ripping into gifts for us!  Everyone watched the person opening the gift, waiting for that pleased look of happiness and surprise.  The wrappings were neatly disposed of, the presents set in each family member’s personal pile.  Then the next person would unwrap.  The youngest person in the family always handed out the gifts.

Some years my mother brought the turkey, all cooked and cut up, while I prepared everything else.  I usually concocted a fancy dessert.  My specialty was Baked Alaska, created several days ahead of time, with the finishing touches done just before eating,

After we finished dinner, my parents and I would sit around the table and talk. The kids would drift away to play, but mother, dad and I would reminisce about the old days.  The candles would burn down to stubs, leaving wax on the tablecloth.   The short winter day dimmed to dusk.  This ritual is what I miss most at Christmas, especially since both my parents died around Christmas time, many years ago.

Christmas is nostalgic for many folks.  Maybe that hint of nostalgia makes the holidays that much richer.   A few tears for those who are gone–mothers, fathers, aunts, uncles, sisters, brothers, children…

They exist in other places and times, maybe in another city or state or country.  They may be only a memory, their bones in a grave under a headstone,  or their ashes blown away by the wind.  However, for as long as we live,  they are the beloved wisps of memory around our Christmas tree.

I have worked for years on a poem about the losses time brings.  I end  my 2010 Christmas thoughts  with this work, dedicated to my parents.

Mary Elizabeth Rockfield Harris        16 Sep 1915-4 Jan 1990

Roy David Harris                                  25 Aug 1911-14 Dec 1997

THERE WILL NEVER BE AGAIN

“sunt lacrimae rerum et mentem mortalia tangunt”

“these are the tears of things, and our mortality cuts to the heart”

Virgil, The Aeneid

Little did I know of time,

when wishing for tomorrows,

these moments I was living in

would never be again.

 

There would never be again an

hour when growing shadows

dimmed every dear face

gathered near, the candles

weeping their demise

upon  the white linen.

There would never be again a

time when sunlight streaked the

faded carpet, while you sat beside

me, dust motes between us

swirling to the rhythm of our words.

The  hope of our tomorrows lost,

too soon today becoming yesterday;

Sunt lacrimae rerum–

these are tears for all those things

that will never be again.

©2010 M. J. Oliver

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